Class #1.

Childbirth Class #1 - For the most part this first night was introductory - here's what's going on, here's how your baby is growing, here are signs to watch out for, etc. - but it was fun for me to realize how REAL this all is now. I'm not learning this stuff to take a test, I'm learning it because we will be doing it! Like, soon. Surreal moment for me.

I would guess there were about 20 people there. All with different due dates so it was hard to compare my belly against theirs. The teacher has been doing this for 39 years and has had 5 children, so I guess she's legit. There was a powerpoint presentation and some short videos and handouts and free swag. The usual. The best part of it was probably the massaging. We were taught how to massage while in labor and the teacher expressed how important touch can be to soothe a woman in labor. Awesome. I hope that's true. I hope I'm not like people on tv (tv reference once again) who are screaming at their spouse and saying mean things. That doesn't sound pleasant. I don't want to be unpleasant.

Perhaps the funniest part of the whole night, which my retelling of the story won't be as remotely funny as it was at the time, but I'll share anyway...

We had to wear name tags - these were pre-written name tags, and I'm guessing that they were written by the teacher. Very legibly-written name tags too. So she went around the room and asked each person to say one word that they associate with childbirth. We were sitting in the back row. As she gets to my husband, Mike, she says, "Adam, what's a word you associate with childbirth?" We looked at each other and snickered. What do you mean, Adam? His name tag quite clearly says MIKE, and YOU WROTE IT! But the moment I LOST IT was when she asked the woman seated on the other side of me (also in the back row), Jacquese, to name a word she associates with childbirth. Jacquese! Are you kidding? You could read and pronounce Jacquese, but you mistook Mike for Adam? I couldn't contain myself, I was laughing and crying hysterically and Mike/Adam was laughing which only made me laugh harder. I could not stop. I had to leave the room. And this was in the first 5 minutes. I thought we were going to be asked to leave. But I eventually pulled it together.

Trust me, it was funny.

So you know how every class like this has "That Guy" or "That Girl" who annoyingly asks ridiculous questions? Well, we didn't have one of those. Thankfully. But what we did have, was the resident douchebag. We had this guy: At the beginning when she was asking for word associations, this guy says "pain", and proceeds to tell us how he has a much higher pain tolerance than his wife/girlfriend and how he would be better at childbirth than she will be. Yeah, he said that. I was all, "What am I doing sitting here next to Mike/Adam when I coulda had that guy?" Darn my luck!

It gets worse.

As we moved on to the massage portion of the class, the teacher, who was quite lovely despite her inability to correctly read a name tag, was talking about how important it is for the man to be a good partner and do their best to make the woman feel comfortable and relaxed during childbirth, to which this guy says, "Why, so the woman can turn around and screw us in the end?" It was special. This guy is a prize. I look forward to hearing what other kind things he has to say about the miracle of childbirth and his love for his woman.

But all in all, it was an enjoyable two hours. I appreciate the knowledge drop. And I enjoyed the time with my husband, Adam, learning about our baby.

Chapter 1 - "When a Mommy and Daddy love each other"...

Tonight is our first Childbirth class! It is the first of 5 classes - once a week for the next five weeks. I'm oddly excited about it. I'm interested to see if it's how it's always depicted on tv and the movies, because that's my frame of reference for most things in life. Like, "I wonder if riding in a gondola in Venice is as romantic as they make it look in the movies?" . . . As it turns out, riding in a gondola with your husband could be romantic IF your parents aren't also riding in it with you. The times I've seen it on tv, never has anyone's parents been along for the ride. Oh well, it was a wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime experience nonetheless. And had my parents not been on that gondola, we wouldn't have been either. So it's all a matter of perspective. (Which reminds me, I have yet to post our Italy photos. Oops.)

Anyhoodle, we are supposed to take a pillow and blanket. I'm encouraged by this. Maybe Mike will have to do all the work and they want all the exhausted Moms to find a nice cot and take a nap for two hours? How relaxing! Oh but then they want me (us?) to wear athletic clothing as there is some sort of exercise element to this, so maybe not. Hopefully they mean exercise in the form of walking, because at this point, any sort of bending, stretching, or lifting of any body part is pretty much a no-go.

I'm also interested to see the other parents-to-be. What will they be like? Will they be younger than us? Older than us? Will the ladies tummies be bigger than mine? Smaller than mine? Will we even talk to anyone else in the class? To their faces, I mean. What's the teacher's story? Will she be old? Young? Will she have kids? If not, why should I listen to her? Will they make us watch that horrendous video that we saw in Health class in junior high? (That poor woman didn't even realize that her vagina was going to be exposed to thousands of 12 and 13-year-olds in an attempt to frighten them into staying away from sex. I hoping that they told her that afterward so she could at least have a pleasant experience at the time.) Is the information they're going to give me common sense information that I should already know or will I need to take copious notes? Is this class going to make me feel good about my ability to parent or will I freak out and realize that I have no idea what I've gotten myself in to? Will there be a snack?

All these questions and so many more are swirling around my brain. Can't wait to find out the answers!

Let's play a game. I like games.

I very much enjoy guessing games. My Mom and I like to guess the exact time we will get home after one of our far-away shopping trips. And when I was younger, my Dad and I would always watch the lottery drawing and try to guess the numbers before they popped up. Good wholesome fun for the whole family.

So in keeping with that family tradition, I'd like to play the "What date will my baby be born, at what time and how much will she weigh?" game. Feel free to guess a name too if you'd like. My due date is December 20, so you can use that as your jumping off point.

The winner will be determined by the person who guesses the date correctly and is closest on the time. Weight is a little too hard to guess correctly, I don't want anyone to be turned off by this complicated process. You can still guess how much you think she will weigh, it just won't be factored into the final judging.

As an incentive, the winner will receive a copy of the video of my birthing experience. This is a family game after all. And you did spend some time thinking about this, so allowing you to share in the experience is the least we can do.

To keep it fair, I will take myself out of the running. With all of my number guessing experience, I have an unfair advantage. Plus I probably know my uterus better than any of you.

So, your guesses please.

730 days.

Hey Mike,

Remember that one time we got married?

Me too. It was the greatest day of my life.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

Love Always, Me

I knew this day would come.

Despite the fact that I am smiling in this photo, my heart was breaking at this moment.

It is quite possibly the last time I will sit in my super cute VW Jetta. (If the guy who might be buying it isn't a total idiot, that is.) I had this car for 8 years, 8 wonderful years. I bought it new in 2002 and it just fit me. I have a lot of pride in the fact that I bought it and paid it off like a responsible adult. And continued to love it even after the newness wore off.

In 8 years I only put 71,104 miles on it. That makes me laugh. Living across the street from work is so ridiculous, I hope I'm appreciating my commute as much as I should.

She was only in one accident and it was a lame one. I was rear ended by some punk kid who had a spiked license plate holder on his truck, so there were 12 holes poked into my bumper in a perfect rectangle. I still shake my head at that one.

I know it's silly to be attached to a car, but I'm a sentimental gal. And I'm not sorry for that. But, it's time to move on and let someone else enjoy her. I will be getting a more family-friendly car, which is cool, I just love new car smell. But I shall miss her and will think of her often.

So, what do we think of Jetta for a middle name for a daughter?... I'm thinking I like it. We'll name her after our dog and my car - Nora Jetta. Then she will move to Hollywood and end up marrying a guy named Sparrow and all will be right with the world.

UPDATE: Dude isn't buying my car. It's official, he's an idiot. But that does mean that my car and I will be reunited!

Look what we made!

World: meet Stella Jane...

Born: December 22, 2009 @ 11:05 p.m.

Weight: 6 pounds, 6 ounces

Length: 19 3/4 inches

We named her Stella not necessarily after my great aunt but it was a name that we both liked and it just happens that I had a loved one with the same name. My aunt Stella always called me "doll" and had an enviable costume jewelry collection. She liked the fancier things in life and had a great laugh. She never married or had any children.

The name Jane is after Mike's Godmother who was also the nurse to the doctor who delivered him and his 3 older siblings. His Mom befriended her after going to the same doctor all those years. Coincidentally, she never married or had children either. (I hope we're not sealing this sweet little girl's fate.) We think it's kinda cool to honor them both in this way.

We chose this name way back in July, the same weekend we found out we were having a girl and we've never waivered on it. Not once. It's perfect. She's perfect. I can't believe I actually kept it a secret this long!

We are completely in love with this little girl already. It makes me cry to think about what an honor it is to be her Mom and what a special gift she has been to us already.

Look at her! Sigh. I think we'll keep her.

My lovely lady lumps

It's true what they say...

... horizontal stripes DO make you look wider. Or maybe it's the baby? Either way, ain't our baby cute?

Photo taken on the eve of my 7th month of pregnancy. Almost 28 weeks.

Ahh, memories.

Since I am in the family way, I've been thinking a lot about nice family traditions that I'd either like to start or continue.

So I pose this question to you:
What is your favorite family tradition? Either one that you've started or one that you did with your family.

I'm looking for ideas to steal. So make 'em good!

Keep your hands off!

I was watching my beloved "Good Morning America" this morning, for which we installed a television in our bathroom so that I could watch as I'm getting ready. That's how much I love it. Plus it's super cool to have a flat screen tv in your bathroom...you should look into it.

In any event, they were talking about cold and flu germs and how you can take precautions against them this season. For one thing, they said to avoid touching your face. The average person touches their face approximately 19 TIMES AN HOUR! Think about that. Think about all the things you touch in an hour and then think about touching your face after that. Gag.

They also reported that children are better about washing their hands than adults. They wash them more thoroughly and for a longer amount of time. I witness on a daily basis adults who don't even bother to get their hands wet after going to the bathroom. It's part of the reason I avoid using the restrooms at my place of business. These people are pigs. Luckily I live across the street from work so if I need to go that badly, I drive home. For serious.

And something else I found interesting. You know that thoughtful person who brings donuts in for all to enjoy? I do love a good donut surprise! But leaving them on a counter for everyone to walk up to and breathe all over is actually spreading tons of bacteria. So if you are going to enjoy that donut, be the first one to take yours and try to avoid going back for seconds. Because the remaining donuts - which are usually jelly-filled anyway, blech - are ridden with germs. This is also why at potlucks, I like to be the first person through the line. Not only because I want to be the first to stuff my face, but because I want to avoid eating 25 people's germs.

I don't know if pregnancy is making me extra-cautious about germs and the flu, but I am taking a strong stand to protect myself this season.

And I'm pretty sure I've touched my face 4 times in the time it took me to type this post. Now, I shall go home and wash my hands and face and perhaps soak in an antibacterial sanitizer bubble bath.

Just a taste.

I still need to weed through the photos and compose a post from our trip to Italy, so hopefully this will tide you over for now. Here is the four of us outside of the Coliseum in Rome - definitely one of the highlights of the trip.


Those two wonderful people on the right of the photo are my lovely, gracious parents. The two people on either side of the four of us are real Gladiators. The guy in the background wearing the brown shirt is a jerk.

You'll notice that we are wearing pants. That's because after the Coliseum we were headed to St. Peter's Basilica, in which you are not allowed to have your shoulders or knees exposed. Clearly this picture was taken early in our Coliseum excursion because by the end, my sleeves were pushed up and my pants were rolled up, because it was a cool 108 degrees that day (no joke) and we were wearing JEANS. Apparently every one else knew that they could wear shorts and bring pants to change into. We will remember that for next time.

On the upside, through this tour group we were on (Tauck - look them up, they were fabulous. I couldn't imagine taking a trip like this on our own), we were able to walk right past the line of people who probably waited two hours in line just to buy tickets. We were total VIPs on this trip, it was awesome!

More to come...

P.S. I HATE wearing flats!

Hello, my name is....

So we've decided on a name for our baby girl! But we are keeping it a secret until she is here because we'd like to avoid the, "oh, that's my neighbor's dog's name" or "ooh, I knew someone in school with that name and I hated her" or "oh really? {wrinkled face} I'm not sure how I feel about that" nonsense that usually follows. And we like it that we are the only ones who know for now. Especially since every already knows it's a girl, there has to be some element of mystery. Plus it's really fun for us.

Nobody is trying as hard to guess the name as my aunt. The last two times I've seen her, she's probably thrown out 398 names. She's convinced that she's guessed correctly about 6 times, with 6 different names.

I've stopped trying to call the baby by her given name (hee hee!) at home because if I get into the habit of it, I'm positive I'll slip at some point. So for now, she's MD3.

Here's a question we've been struggling with: we LOVE our dog's name - Nora. It's super cute and it flows nicely with our last name. We strongly considered naming our daughter Nora, but think that people would silently judge our decision to name our daughter after our dog. So, would you judge us or someone else you know for naming their daughter or son after their dog? Could we really get away with it? Honesty is appreciated.

Arrivederci, Italia!

WOW! How do you sum up 8 fantastic days in Italy? Once I've gone through the hundreds of photos that were taken, I shall post all about it. It won't be easy, but I'll give it a shot. I may have to do multiple posts day-by-day or city-by-city.

It's just hard to believe we were even there. It's amazing to think that a place like Italy exists. Because it is such a stark contrast from NW Ohio, it's hard to fathom. But I guess that's why we appreciate vacations so much. And that's usually why I cry when it's time to come home.

But, we had a great time. I think my Dad's 60th birthday was a happy one. Shall post more soon.

Arrivederci!

Fun fact: Italians don't have a word for goodbye. Arrivederci means "see you later or "til we meet again" because they don't believe it's forever, you will see each other again. And when they wave, they don't wave with their palms to the other person or with their fingers to them, instead they do it backward - like they are waving to themselves. Which, to me, isn't backward, that's the way it should be. I thought it was a nice sentiment.

Happy Birthday, Two Pretzels!

Today is the birthday of our dear friend, Two Pretzels. If it were my birthday or your birthday, she would have posted a photo and a happy birthday wish for us, so it's only fair that she receive the same.


Kylee, I think I speak for all of your friends and followers when I say that you deserve the best birthday one could ask for. We are entertained by you daily and are most definitely GLAD THAT YOU WERE BORN!

Have a happy day, dear, dear Friend!

Love,
Me

We'rehavingababyit'saGIRL!

MD3 is now officially a GIRL!

And she's a happy baby already! We could see her smile and she had her mouth open and moving! It was the cutest thing ever. We've got a future comedienne in here. Telling jokes and making herself laugh...she takes after me already!

MD guessed GIRL from the beginning, so I must give credit where credit is due. And the 12 other of you who said GIRL, you can now have the satisfaction of knowing you were right. Thanks for playing!

My Dad said, "Oh great, another shopping partner for you and your mom!" In honor of that, I must now go and do some online shopping for fun, girly pink stuff!

Thank you all for being excited! Even those of you who don't know me. How cool to have such nice people to share in this special time!

:)

Polls are now closed.

It appears as though the majority of you - 17 to be exact - believe that our baby is a BOY.

13 of you said GIRL.

That's 30 total votes! Wow, thank you!

WE WILL KNOW TOMORROW (squeal!) and I shall report the outcome and let you know which batch of voters was correct.

I'm so excited I can barely stand it!

17 weeks.

Here is the only photo that's been taken of my belly so far. Taken two weeks ago, I'll be 19 weeks on Friday. I'm mad at me. I simply must do this more often. Because 20 weeks from now, 20 years from now, it will be too late. I can't have that.

I've never shown this much skin on the Internet. My head is cut off to protect the innocent.

---

P.S. Guess whose husband showed them how to get photos off the camera and onto the computer? There will be no stopping me now!

P.P.S. There is only 16 hours left to vote on what you think the sex of the baby is. Does the belly give any indication?

Baby Poll.

What do you think our baby is? Please provide your guess to the right.

The ultrasound appointment is scheduled for next Friday at 10! I shall reveal the results shortly thereafter.

(This is exciting!)

MD3.

It's been recommended that I start posting pregnancy information. And I think that's a darn good idea. I'm mad at myself for not taking a picture of my belly yet, so in the interim, I shall use this sweet photo.

Here's where I'm at:

• As of today, Wednesday, July 15, I am 17.5 weeks pregnant. I will be 18 weeks on Friday.
• I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and so far I have gained 11 pounds.
• The baby's heartbeat was going at 156 beats per minute (Yes, I am aware of the old wives' tale on heart rate.)
• We can find out the sex next week! That was a huge deal for me yesterday.
• The doctor I was seeing moved to another state. May have to get a boy doctor. Still debating that one. Luckily the nurse practioner I've seen for years (she was in the delivery room when I was born!) is still there.
• My clothes are just now getting to the point of not fitting, yet I'm still trying to squeeze into them for as long as I can. Shirts are really gapping at the bust and I'm just doing my best to not provide a free show at work. I haven't buttoned my pants in about two weeks. I have been wearing maternity jeans, which I love! That full panel thing is tres comfy! All pants should be like that.
• I'm trying to walk on the treadmill a couple times a week and lift 5-pound weights.
• I'm not craving any weird things, but I'm still eating the heck out of fruit - you name it, cherries, grapes, apples, kiwi, bananas - all of it.
• Still drinking lots of orange juice.
• I haven't felt any flutters yet, but I'm eagerly anticipating that moment.
• I'm no longer tired all the time. Except for when it's really hot outside.
• I'm ready to start buying stuff! We already have a swing and a pack 'n play that we got from a friend of my Mom's. Which we've had since Week 10.
• My place of business has a child care center and we got word yesterday that we are off the waiting list and are in for Spring '10! The child care center was one of the first places that I called when I found out I was pregnant. The place fills up fast. Like, a year in advance! It'll be nice to have the baby right here. I can see the building from my window.

Um, I think that's about it for now.

Ciao, bellas!

Our trip to Italy has been booked, the plane tickets have been purchased, and I've been working on my Italian, as the title of this post clearly indicates!

I still can't believe we're going. And that we're going so soon! Normally people plan these trips months, even years, in advance. Not my family, we leave next month! I won't say exactly when, because you know the Internets, there are probably people stalking our compound as I type. You can't trust people you follow on Twitter these days :) It's just a joke, I fully trust all 27 of my followers, you seem like good people.

The part I'm most looking forward to is our time in Venice. Riding a gondola in Venice was on my list of things to do before I pass. And that sounds a lot more appealing and practical than jumping out of an airplane, which is also on my list. I just hope the two won't go hand in hand.

But I think the coolest part of this whole trip is that, for the first time in their lives, both of my parents have to get a passport. This will be the first trip out of the country for both of them. Something about that brings a tear to my eye. And makes me smile.
...

Here's our itinerary, it's an 8-day trip that is chock full of fun:

Day 1 – See the glories of Ancient Rome. Welcome to Rome, where your family begins this most excellent of Tauck Italy tours; a drive through the heart of the city reveals relics of Imperial Rome, once capital of the ancient world. Walk through one of the Colosseum's 80 entrances to step back in time on a guided tour of what might be the world's most famous arena, and pose for pictures with Roman Centurions (count on it.) ; and explore the temples and basilicas of the Roman Forum, nerve center of the ancient empire. Join us for a welcome dinner tonight at your hotel.

Day 2 – Rome at leisure and a private after-hours Vatican tour. Most of the day is yours to explore more of Rome's iconic sights on your own, from the Spanish Steps to the Trevi Fountain; be sure to make a wish there to ensure your return to the "Eternal City." Later, Tauck's family journey through Italy tours one of the world's most famous houses of worship, magnificent St. Peter’s Basilica. This evening, join us for a Tauck Exclusive – a privately guided after-hours tour of the Vatican Museums (no way!), full of fascinating history and artistic masterpieces. View Michelangelo’s famous ceiling in the Sistine Chapel (sounds incredible!) – which the artist originally resisted doing because he considered himself a sculptor, not a painter – without the usual crowds (my dad will LOVE this part)!

Day 3 – Through Orvieto's tunnels and Tuscany's hills to Florence. Discoveries abound on this most delightful of Italy tours today as your family sets off through rural Umbria and Tuscany. The first stop on your travels is walled Orvieto, perched on a volcanic plateau; a guided tour takes you under its cobblestone streets to explore the town's honeycombed medieval tunnels, and caves dating back to the time of the ancient Etruscans. Then it's on to Florence, birthplace of the Renaissance, where you'll check out Michelangelo's famed statue of David (I'll take pics for you ladies out there) and other great works at the Galleria dell'Accademia, the oldest art school in the world.

Day 4 – The Leaning Tower and pizza-making in Pisa. An excursion from Florence takes you to Pisa for a look at this maritime city's great medieval buildings – including a glimpse of the remarkable Leaning Tower and more of Pisa's "field of miracles" – followed by a tasty lunchtime pizza-making demonstration (um, fun!). Return to Florence for an evening as you please.

Day 5 – Florentine treasures at the Uffizi Gallery. More great Renaissance art awaits in Florence today. A local art historian shares insights about the Renaissance and prepares you for a visit to the Uffizi Gallery, the world's oldest art gallery, where you'll see masterpieces galore – including Michelangelo’s painting of The Holy Family and Botticelli's The Birth of Venus (I may have to work on being more "arty" before this day). The rest of the day is free for your family to explore more of Florence as you wish.

Day 6 – Travel to Venice aboard the high-speed Eurostar. A first-class rail journey aboard the high-speed Eurostar takes your family to Venice, a city of islands where the roads are paved with water, and a treasured memory of many Italy tours. Ride a private boat to the city's heart for lunch along the Grand Canal, followed by a walking tour of massive St. Mark’s Square, and a visit to the Doges’ Palace; learn why a small bridge high above a canal is called the Bridge of Sighs. Later, a musician serenades your family as you ride in a gondola (squee!), traveling through the canals as the Venetians have done for centuries!

Day 7 – Experience Venice your wayIf there is any city in Europe that is perfect for just wandering, seeing and experiencing, it is Venice. Follow the small, cobbled streets and alleyways to see where they lead; visit a museum, sample some gelato (I MUST have) (served warmer and creamier than traditional ice cream), or just feed the pigeons (this is doubtful, we didn't go to Italy to feed pigeons. Hello, shopping time!) in Saint Mark’s Square. Tonight, please join us for a farewell reception and dinner, as this most memorable of family Italy tours draws to a spectacular close.

Day 8 – Homeward boundTour ends: Venice. Fly home anytime. If you did throw that coin into Trevi Fountain, legend has it that you will return to L’Italia Bella again someday!
....

I'd love to hear from anyone who has been. I love travel tips and suggestions.

Arrivederci!
(Damn, I'm gettin' good.)

This is a serious WTF?

The following flier was in our mailbox the other day. I would like to share with you and would love to know you think it means. You ready?

[Typed verbatim]
....
CAUTION!

The sun has been increasing in size! Many people are unaware of this event, except Hillary Clinton. We have spoken with him. He said that we need to do something to protect and save our children, and we do! The sun will grow and earth will soon reach up to 800 to 900 degrees. We know this because citizens on Mercury and Venus have already experienced this blazing event. NASA does not even know about this, but we do. Rely on us and follow our procedures...

1. Buy saran wrap.
2. Cover your children except their heads.
3. Store them in freezer from ten to twenty years.

This should keep your children safe and the non-believers burned to a liquid.

Thank You For Helping.
.....
Great. And we chose now to have a baby? What we were thinking? I guess I better go stock up on saran wrap. And possibly get Hillary Clinton on the horn so he can explain.