1.06.2011

Dinner With Schmucks.

Last night the three of us headed to dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in town. We were seated next to two gentleman who I'm guessing were in their sixties. As we sat down I caught a glimpse of one of the gentleman's faces - he looked less than pleased. I'm sure it had something to do with the fact that we had a baby... in a restaurant.

Our Stella is a good eater. She likes to eat (she ate 3 helpings of meatloaf and watermelon at school yesterday! I think she must be stealing other kids' lunches) and will eat just about anything. And as long as she has food in front of her you won't hear a peep out of her. She finds it rude when you eat in front of her and will tell you so. Manners, people! So we come prepared. I brought food, she ate some of our food and nary a peep left her mouth. You would never even have known she was there. I'd say she was pretty close to the perfect dining companion. (However, as Mike said, the floor may have disagreed. Messes, she can make them!)

So the men finish their meal and get up to leave and the one who glared at us stops at our table and says, "You've got a lovely little girl there." I say, "Thank you!" He says, "She's very well behaved." ...

Now, I cynically translate this comment as, "Dude, when you guys sat down I was pissed. I didn't want to hear your kid scream while I ate my dinner. You really shouldn't bring kids to this type of restaurant because you ruin dinners and you ruin lives. I've been sitting over there this whole time waiting for her to start yelling and then I was going to complain to the manager and have you removed. But imagine my surprise when she hardly made a sound. And now that I've finished my steak in peace, I need to apologize to you and your kid because I was a judgmental asshat. I really should stop being a crotchedy older guy and get over myself because I have kids too (he told me so) and I'm sure I wanted to take them to a nice restaurant without fear of jerkfaces like myself. And now I've become one. Shame on me. So, uh, your kid is lovely. Have a nice evening."

I'm sure I'm not too off here. Or am I? Was he just being nice? Am I projecting because I'm afraid of having a screaming baby in public? Or is this a thing? Do people hate to eat next to children? I'm definitely a big eye roller and sigher if I'm sitting near a kid on a long flight, but I don't think I've ever been angry to sit by a kid while I ate? And believe me, I'm pretty sensitive to annoying sounds. It's a cursed gift.

So is this just my spidey oversensitivity? You can tell me.