This is a serious WTF?

The following flier was in our mailbox the other day. I would like to share with you and would love to know you think it means. You ready?

[Typed verbatim]

The sun has been increasing in size! Many people are unaware of this event, except Hillary Clinton. We have spoken with him. He said that we need to do something to protect and save our children, and we do! The sun will grow and earth will soon reach up to 800 to 900 degrees. We know this because citizens on Mercury and Venus have already experienced this blazing event. NASA does not even know about this, but we do. Rely on us and follow our procedures...

1. Buy saran wrap.
2. Cover your children except their heads.
3. Store them in freezer from ten to twenty years.

This should keep your children safe and the non-believers burned to a liquid.

Thank You For Helping.
Great. And we chose now to have a baby? What we were thinking? I guess I better go stock up on saran wrap. And possibly get Hillary Clinton on the horn so he can explain.


Lazy blurbs.

Time for my "lazy can't think of a good post so here are some bullet points" post:
  • Today, I am 31. How? I was just getting used to 30. Where did this number come from? My brother-in-law has told me that 31 was harder for him than 30, because not only was he 30, he was 30 + something. I've been contemplating that thought today.
  • I choose to not work on my birthday. Having a summer birthday, I never had to go to school, so why should I go to work? I encourage everyone to take their birthday off. It's the one day of the year people are supposed to be nice to you. Who needs annoying work emails or phone calls? I'd much rather wake up, have a Barry's Bagels Eggel and my decaf Starbucks and go shopping then lay out in the sun like I plan on doing today. I don't need anyone's nonsense.
  • By the time this day comes around next year, I will have a six-month-old!
  • I am officially in my second trimester. I'd say I had a very successful first trimester. No sickness to speak of. And I think I'm starting to get over the excessive tiredness. I would also like to point out that I am wearing my skinny jeans today and they are buttoned - booyah!
  • "Breaking Bad" is one hell of a tv show. It's on AMC. Get the dvds. Watch them.
  • This next one will make me (and my husband) cry... we found out last week that we totally missed the Coldplay concert that we had tickets to. It was June 2, which we realized on June 9. D'oh! My stomach hurts just thinking about it. But because my husband is great, he got tickets to another of their concerts in Wisconsin next month. (It's July 30*... PLEASE REMIND ME!) We got engaged in Wisconsin, so we will be staying at the hotel that he proposed in. Very sweet! Almost makes missing the first concert worth it. Almost.
  • My Dad has decided he wants to go to Italy for his birthday celebration. He found an awesome 8-day trip. Now, I have to contact Mastercard to convince my Mom that the cost of this trip is "priceless". Sidenote: for 4 people to fly first class to Rome would cost $12,500! Hahhah!
  • I have fantastic friends.


*UPDATE: OMG! The friggin Coldplay concert that we are seeing is JULY 25! Not the 30th. Ugh, we are destined to miss another one.