And, as a special bonus, it was dollar hot dog night! Opportunities like this don't come around very often.
As a longtime hot dog connoisseur, it's no secret that I find ballpark hot dogs to be spectacular summer cuisine. I had a goal of eating 5 hot dogs but I fell one short. I consumed a disappointing 4. A letdown to my husband and Kobayashi, the world-famous-hot-dog-devouring champion. I probably could have eaten 5, but I wasn't willing to dip my bun in water to do so. I consider it a feat nonetheless. I'm usually good for one hot dog, but when $1 dogs are presented, I simply must take advantage.
There were some 42,265 hot dogs consumed at the ballpark last night. 9 of those by the MD family from Toledo. Impressive, I say. Even more impressive is my husband consuming a hot dog in one bite. Yep, we are quite the impressive couple. Some circles might even call us classy.
So imagine my dismay when I read that Eva Longoria chopped her hair off as to appear frumpy for the upcoming season of Desperate Housewives. Hang on just a second, pal. Since when does short hair = frumpy? I thought short hair = short hair. Or as something to try when you get bored and are looking for a dramatic change. Or because you're freakin hot in the middle of summer and can't take it anymore. Do people go into salons looking to be frumpier? "Eh, I'm feeling too fancy these days, let's cut it all off." Is cutting your hair the new "gain 85 pounds and wear ugly makeup in the hopes of winning an Oscar"?
Ugh. Someone get her PR rep on the horn, I'd like to fill out a comment form.
Nora is a superhero because she single-handedly made me a dog person. Prior to meeting her, I didn't much care for them. But this little punkin has changed my mind forever. Of little dogs, anyway. I'm still searching deep within to love big dogs.
Wherever there is danger of someone not liking dogs, she will be there. She'll even drive herself there.
Until I married your uncle, I didn't know what a big family was like. But it didn't take long to figure it out. Big families are amazing. And loud. And this one is pretty great. And your parents are two of my favorite people that I've ever met, and I'd say that even if we weren't related. You are lucky. They are funny and sweet and loving and they know how to have fun. Your dad makes awesome homemade biscuits and your mom is the easiest person in the world to get along with. And they really love each other. Plus, you get to live near Chicago and your mom can navigate those streets and the train system with the best of them. Make her take you there often. And slyly say, "maybe Aunt Michelle would like to go shopping downtown with us? Let's call her to visit." I'll be on the next Megabus.
You and I are the newest members of the D family. So I promise to show you the ropes and I will try not to exert my seniority over you as much as possible. But the minute one of your cousins brushes your hair over mine, I'm gonna have to pull rank and shut you down. Perhaps, you'll be able to do that to your brother or sister or my kids someday, but that is all. I am exactly 30 years and one month older than you, let's not forget that... um, maybe we should forget that... I am exactly 25 years and one month older than you. That's what you will tell people.
You have made your parents very happy already. Your uncle and I cannot wait to meet you and see what a lovely little family the three of you are. I'm sorry, the four of you. I'm sure Lucy can't wait to meet you either. She's heard a lot about you these last nine months, and she wants to know what all the hype is about.
Thank you for allowing me to see what it's like to become an "official" aunt. I've enjoyed it immensely. To steal a phrase from my good friend K, who is an old pro at being an aunt, I am happy you were born.
I cannot wait to meet her!
Name update: Therese Marian. Tess for short.
Ooh, Tiny you were so close on the date. But not the gender. Good guess.
And this comes almost a year to the day after we were on tv sitting in the front row at the Late Show. That's pretty incredible. Next stop, Hollywood.
49. Having the whole bar get quiet when my college friends and I would loudly sing "Like a Prayer" nearly every weekend.
48. Calling everyone we know telling them about our engagement. And the way his brother made me cry. And seeing MD cry because I was crying.
47. Waiting with Sarah for two hours to touch a dolphin at the dolphin pool at Sea World.
46. Watching the Wizard of Oz every year with my dad, cousin and uncle. My cousin and I would always leave the room when the Wicked Witch of the West was on. And we would beg my uncle to do his spot-on impression of the Lion.
45. The first time I got flowers at work.
44. Having the cool mom who always made blue Kool-aid for our summer softball games and always had the new, fun snacks.
43. Seeing Jerry Seinfeld. Twice.
42. My Slip 'n Slide in our backyard.
41. The hot dogs at Tigers games.
40. Playing the piano every Christmas. The same 10 songs.
39. The Hoopla dance my cousin and I made up and always performed for the whole family.
37. Asking my parents to move their cars out of the garage so I could roller skate on the smooth surface while listening to all the great 80's music.
36. The smell of Fall in Northwest Ohio.
35. The matron of honor and best men speeches at our wedding.
34. Chicago, New York City, Boston, Denver and the feeling I get when being in a big city.
33. Being invited to the Young Writer's Workshop in third grade.
32. Sarah and I laughing about nothing for hours.
31. My first taste of Pinot Grigio on my 23rd birthday.
30. The home movies from when I was a baby that my dad had converted onto dvd. (They were old projector film that we used to watch on a large pull-out screen in our living room.)
29. My fantastic 30th birthday parties and all the love that went into planning them.
28. Learning to ride my pink Huffy bike without training wheels. My dad letting go without me knowing it and hearing him yell excitedly, "You're doing it, you're doing it!" as I got further and further away.
27. Picking my lip.
26. The day I won 4 tickets to the Late Show with David Letterman.
My list 74-50.
My list 100-75.
Here's what I predict:
The baby will be born on JULY 18 and it will be a BOY.
If you think you're a good guesser too, feel free to play along. I'd love to hear people's thoughts on the pregnancy of a woman they don't know of a baby they'll never meet.
- Hannah Montana is for 4 or 5 year olds. Certainly NOT for 12 year olds.
- 12-year-olds love to read. And they like big, thick books. Even non-Harry Potter books.
- Cell phones must have a texting plan.
- Even tweens love shoes and shoe shopping.
- Tweens are more "developed" than 30 year-olds nowadays. (Which doesn't take much, let's be clear. But, boy, what a depressing realization. Most of my week will be spent stuffing to make sure everyone knows I'm the adult.)
- 12-year-olds really are aware of what's going on. They aren't stupid.
- They also don't mind being told to 'shut up'. We didn't tell her to shut up, of course, but she said we could if we thought she was talking too much. (What a different world this would be if only that offer applied to everyone.)
I think I will totally learn more from her than she will from me.
I thank you and curse you all for being so entertaining.
(I'm totally going to run through my list now. Do not disappoint me.)