More deep thoughts.

Every once in a while it really hits me that there is an actual human being in my stomach. Right this very second! IN MY STOMACH*! Like, here's me just walking around getting files from the filing cabinet carrying another person along with me like it's no big deal. "Oh, just excuse me and this person within my belly, we've got business to conduct. I know you can't see her but I can feel her, she's inside me kicking around and LIVING!"

My mind is blown. Thinking about anything else will cease for the rest of the day.



* I know the baby is not technically 'in my stomach'. I have a better grasp on anatomy than that. But my stomach is the area that is protruding the most. I suppose I could say the baby is in my thighs or my behind because they are protruding as well, but that is even less accurate. So, the baby is in my stomach for the sake of this story, mmmkay?

Class #3 Highlights.

You know how these things go, the beginning and the ending are always fun and the middle is usually so-so. That's where we are at this point. But this class was not without its highlights:

• It was tour the hospital night. In this particular hospital, everything is done in one room. So we didn't get to see a big nursery full of newborns, but we were able to see that there is an Arby's right across the street from the hospital. So that was good to know. (I hope I don't get the room with that view. I feel that giving birth by the red glow of the Arby's sign might take away from the moment a bit.)
• While on the tour, the teacher asked if anyone was born in this hospital. Turns out, I was. She asked what month I was born. I told her June. She asked what year I was born. I told her that I didn't see how that was any of her business. (I really did. She laughed and told me that no one has ever given her that response. Hee hee.) They had all of these books dating back to the 1950's or so that had baby's names listed in the year and month they were born... if their parents paid $1 to have their kid's name placed in it. I guess my parents weren't giving the hospital one more dollar because my name wasn't there. So I told the whole class how old I was for nothing. Aaaand, I'm pretty sure I'm the oldest one in the class. Mike said there were audible gasps when I revealed the year I was born. The only other normal couple in the class that we really like told me later that they were sure I was born in the 80's. Ha!
• The couple who got into a fight last week actually showed up this week. And not only that, but a gigantic hickey on the girl's neck showed up as well! I'm guessing that means they made up. And to show what a stand-up guy he is, he wore his best marijuana leaf t-shirt. They're cute.
• I'm pretty sure Mike's favorite parts of the night were all of the lunging that our 65-year-old, 4-foot-nuthin' teacher was doing to demonstrate the best positions for labor. She was slinging her foot up on chairs and lunging in the hallway all night.
• While in the room on the tour, the teacher told us that a lot of people find sitting on the toilet comfortable during labor because it's a good sitting position. But then when you're a certain amount dilated it's time to move elsewhere because you don't want to give birth while on the toilet and have your baby fall in. Ha! Which led many to recall a certain show titled, "I didn't know I was pregnant" in which a woman claimed to have given birth while going to the bathroom. I didn't see the show, but I did see Joel McHale's spoof on it on "The Soup" in which he reminded pregnant women to "check their poop for children", which I found hilarious! Is that show for real? I don't think I can bring myself to watch it.

I think that was about it for this week. Next week we will be discussing what you do when the baby is actually here. This is the info I've been waiting for. I'm pretty sure I knew that labor/contractions would hurt, but I'm not entirely sure how to swaddle a baby or how I go about not breaking her. I'll be taking copious notes.

33 weeks and Class #2

Here's me at 33 weeks. I took this photo because 1) I wanted to document my 33rd week of pregnancy 2) I had just gotten my haircut and wanted to show off the cute way she styled it and 3) I wanted to show off our messy bathroom.

Looks like I better devote my serious Nesting tendencies to the bathroom next.

So, 33 weeks. Feelin' good. It's pretty crazy to be lying on the couch with a t-shirt, sweatshirt and blanket on and notice the blanket move when she kicks! Someone's got some powerful legs/arms/elbows/knees/head/behind in there.

Lately I've been super thirsty. I even drank two glasses of milk this morning - that never happens. And I have the co-worker who brought in donuts to thank for that. See, donuts are a good thing, they promote milk drinking! I see a definite co-marketing campaign there.

The nursery is 98% complete! And is 100% cute! (Aside from the rocker recliner we got from La-Z-boy. Who it turns out, is actually lazy and is completely devoid of customer service skills. Don't get either one of us started on the experience we've had dealing with them. It ain't pretty. I expected better.) But I shall try and take some photos of that. It's probably my favorite room in the house. I just sit in there and stare at things and contemplate how different life will be in 45 days, give or take.

Holy moly.

...
Last night was Childbirth class #2.

There was a lot of talk about contractions. I'm still not convinced that I'll know what a contraction is. (I'm sure there's lots of moms out there chuckling at me right now.) But I have yet to understand how they will feel and I wonder if I've experienced any at this point? The teacher said that everything will get hard, I may have felt that, but with the rock-hard abs I had already, who's to say? (Now I'm chuckling.)

You know what's amazing to me? The irony of the miraculous and beautiful experience of having child coupled with some of the nastiest bodily functions one can produce. I don't like to think of it like that, but we saw some disturbing videos last night and I can't not think about it. I hope that goes away.

Aside from all of that, there was some serious drama with a couple in the class. A couple who, last week, was all schmoopie schmoopie with each other got into a big 'ole fight this week. I didn't hear what went down, but it started when she moved her seat away from his. Then they didn't get up and do the "labor dance" that we were taught. Then she left the room and he didn't follow. After a while, he got up and left and the teacher wondered if she was ok, and that maybe she was in labor in the bathroom. (She's old and sweet.) A few minutes went by and we heard her crying and screaming at this guy in the hallway. Couldn't really make out what she was saying but it didn't sound good. He came back in, got their pillow and blanket, and did not return. Eeks. Wonder if they'll be back next week?

So that was class #2 - contractions, bodily fluids, and drama. Oh, and more chirping birds. Next week we take a field trip through the hospital.

In the news.

This story makes me physically ill.

If I were this animal's attorney, I'm pretty sure I would be working a lot less harder than usual.