There are days I like better.

Ah yes, today is Halloween. What once was a time for candy and pumpkins and ghosts and Charles Schulz, 'tis now a time for the mousy girl in your office to dress like a slutty nun. Or a slutty doctor. Or a slutty cheerleader. Or a slutty Dutch girl. Or a slutty police officer. Or a slutty witch. Or a slutty school girl. Or a slutty vice presidential candidate (tell me there weren't be one (or 8 million) of those this year). Or a slutty cat. Or a slutty Olympic swimmer. Or a slutty superhero. Or a slutty devil. Or a slutty baby. Or a slutty prostitute (huh?). Or a slutty candy passer outer. Or a slutty mousy girl from your office.

Here's to hoping you all are more creative with your costumes this year.

I will be in my house. With the doors locked. With the outside lights off and all of the inside lights ON, watching happy movies that won't make me pee my pants or wake up my husband every 6 seconds because I think someone is standing in the bedroom doorway with a meat clever waiting to steal me and throw me into a well in their basement with my dog and feeding me by sending food down in a bucket, with lotion too, eventually hoping to skin me and then wear it. All while wearing a dress and lipstick and tucking things in certain places.

But I hope you all enjoy the day!

Happy Halloween.

Where have I been?

Ugh, I've been in my head, that's where. Trying to think of fun and witty things to write. I think about it so much that I am unable to produce anything worthy of my blog list members' attention. You deserve better.

I need to get out of this place (my head). Perhaps it's time for another vacation?

One year!

Happy First Anniversary to the man I LOVE!

I struggle with what to write here today. Not because I have nothing to say but because I'm afraid of not truly conveying my feelings.

So let me say this... I am so happy that I married you 366 days ago. You have given me the life that I always hoped I would have. I wanted a partner who I loved even though things aren't always happy. I wanted someone who had goals in life, someone who made me feel special and needed, someone who I could learn from, someone who enjoyed doing things and traveling, and someone who I could just "be" with. I had pretty much given up on finding that person. I was pretty sure you didn't exist. And since I love being dramatic, I had resigned myself to the fact that I was going to live the rest of my life alone. But I am so proud to say that you are all of those things I mentioned above and I no longer have to worry about being alone. I have found my partner. And you're even better than I imagined.

Our first (married) year together has flown by in one fantastic blur. I simply cannot believe it. If this is what the beginning of our lives is like, what are the next 70 years going to be like? I'm not sure, but I cannot wait to find out! It's fun and exciting, yet at times, stressful and annoying. But thank God, it will be with YOU.

We are very lucky. And there isn't a day that goes by where I don't realize that. I am so thankful for everything we have, but most importantly I am thankful for you and the person you are. This day every year will be a reminder to us of just how blessed we are and everday in between will be another wonderful memory in our lives.

I love you with all my heart.

"I'm-a-Slaaave-for-YOU..."

Last night I filled up my gas tank for $2.06! Total.

Before you ask "WHERE?!" or "Wow, Mickey D, great job spending $500 at Giant Eagle to save .76 cents on tanks of gas!" or "You have enviable talent for sniffing out a great deal!", let me first tell you how I was able to accomplish this seemingly impossible feat...

I only needed .7 gallons to fill up my tank.

Oops.

The husband told me about the cheap gas on the corner and that I should go now because there was a risk of the Dow going up or down or sideways and that gas prices were thought to be going up. So I went. I guess I should have looked at my gas tank first to see if I even needed gas. Instead I operated on panic and fear. And for that I am ashamed.

It was embarrassing to get out of my car, run my credit card through, open the gas tank (twice, because the first time it slipped out of my hand and shut itself so I had to go back to hit the button again), select my grade, put the pump in and stand there for the whole 1.8 seconds it took to fill up my tank. I gave an apologetic wave to the person waiting for my pump and slunk back into my car. I'm sure there were plenty of fellow gas station patrons who witnessed this event (the place was packed) and are now sharing it with their friends and families and laughing at what a paranoid freak the girl in the black Jetta is.

Before you assume any untruths about me, no, I'm not one of the crazies who runs to the supermarket when the weatherman indicates a snowflake is on its way, this was an isolated incident. One that I am not proud of but one that I have learned a valuable lesson from...

Gas prices suck. Someone, ANYONE, needs to do something about it. The mere mention of cheap gas was enough for me to abandon my critical thinking process. I'm turning into a robot. A scared, hoarding, mindless robot driven by societal fears and paranoias. A slave to the economy's bottom line. A product of this country's most detrimental characteristics.

Or maybe just someone who needs to pay closer attention to what they're doing.

Either way, life seemed a lot simpler when gas was only $1.00 a gallon. That's all I'm saying.

Even better than Sea World.

A few photos of Stingray City.

Photos shot using the finest underwater disposable camera one can buy at the local Cayman grocery store.

Actually, this one was spotted "in the wild" when we were snorkeling before we got to Stingray City. So dangerous! MD sacrified his life to get this photo. Only not so much.

See, she was kissing them. It was kinda odd, I was a little uncomfortable. But they seemed to enjoy it.

MD holding one.

Me holding one. Look how huge that sucker is!

A whole gaggle of them.

Isn't Life "Grand"

Well, we're back. And honestly, we're none too pleased about it. Our trip to Grand Cayman Island was wonderful! Very relaxing and very hot. The high was about 90 and the low at night was 84. But that's what we were hoping for, so it was perfect.

It really is a nice place to visit. We were told there is no unemployment on the island and no crime. The cops don't even carry guns. So it's a very safe place to travel with a family. Although, if you're traveling with a family, you better have bank because stuff ain't cheap there. We had to pay for electricity for the week. Nothing is made there, except for Cay Brew beer and rum cake (and probably some babies), everything else is imported. Including Cuban cigars. And most prices are in Cayman dollars, so since our dollar is for shit, the cost in American dollars is always more.

There isn't much to "do" there per se, but one thing you simply must do if you ever visit is to swim with the stingrays at Stingray City. They take you to a sand bar in the middle of the ocean and let you swim with the dozens and dozens of (friendly) stingrays of all different sizes. They even let you "hold" them. (We have photos, but we need to get them developed.) They are very soft and rubbery on the bottom and feel like sandpaper on the top. I admit, I was a little freaked at first. They feel weird and they kill people, so I had to talk myself into it. But after seeing the guide girl literally make out with them (not kidding, she was kissing them on the mouth), I figured it was safe. It's definitely not something you do every day, it was very, very cool.

We did some shopping, eating, laying out and drinking at the swim-up bar, which is the perfect vacation as far as I'm concerned. We didn't see any famous people, but I hope the following photos will suffice...
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Our condo. The Grand Morritt's Resort.

An overview of the condo grounds. We ate at the restaurant in the middle of the photo 3 times. It was pretty yummy. And close by.

The pool. With swim-up bar.

View from our room.

Our very own beach hut.

Me outside of the very best restaurant on the planet, Luca. It was incredible. EVERYTHING was delicious. I devoured some sort of liver dip. Liver! I don't eat liver. If it weren't such a nice restaurant, I would have picked up the bowl and licked it clean. I would make another trip to the island just to eat there. So naturally, I had to have my photo taken outside of it. Seriously, GO THERE. Except on Sundays.

Tortuga Rum. Downtown Georgetown.

Downtown Georgetown. With pirate ship.

MD being a tourist outside the Hard Rock Cafe.

Me being a tourist outside the Hard Rock.

MD illustrating driving on the other side of the car, on the other side of the road. If you're wondering if I got nervous about that, I will tell you, I WAS. It's very disconcerting. And it didn't help that their roads and their ubiquitous roundabouts are poorly marked. So the first 30 minutes of the trip was a little hairy.

The funniest road sign I've ever seen.

... yep, time to go...

It rained the last full day we were there and the day we left. And the forecast for the following week didn't look too favorable, so we got out at the right time. I guess we should expect this seeing as how we were traveling at the end of hurricane season. I still managed to come away with remnants of a tan. Actually it was the first time in my life that I didn't fry myself to allow it to "turn into tan". No one said to me, "Wow, you got some sun!"I got increasingly brown. I guess suntan lotion does have a purpose. It took me 30 years to learn that little nugget of info.

We're counting down the days until we retire so we can travel to places like this all the time. What's 365 times about 35?...