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Ah yes, today is Halloween. What once was a time for candy and pumpkins and ghosts and Charles Schulz, 'tis now a time for the mousy girl in your office to dress like a slutty nun. Or a slutty doctor. Or a slutty cheerleader. Or a slutty Dutch girl. Or a slutty police officer. Or a slutty witch. Or a slutty school girl. Or a slutty vice presidential candidate (tell me there weren't be one (or 8 million) of those this year). Or a slutty cat. Or a slutty Olympic swimmer. Or a slutty superhero. Or a slutty devil. Or a slutty baby. Or a slutty prostitute (huh?). Or a slutty candy passer outer. Or a slutty mousy girl from your office.
Here's to hoping you all are more creative with your costumes this year.
I will be in my house. With the doors locked. With the outside lights off and all of the inside lights ON, watching happy movies that won't make me pee my pants or wake up my husband every 6 seconds because I think someone is standing in the bedroom doorway with a meat clever waiting to steal me and throw me into a well in their basement with my dog and feeding me by sending food down in a bucket, with lotion too, eventually hoping to skin me and then wear it. All while wearing a dress and lipstick and tucking things in certain places.
But I hope you all enjoy the day!
Happy Halloween.
4 comments:
Amen to that. I just don't get why everyone has to be slutty. I tend to go with the more creative costumes that are usually met by girls with enthusiasm and by boys with "why didn't you just be a slutty something like everyone else?"
Sigh.
Loved this post.
haha!
I hate scary movies but I love to pass out candy to the 6 trick-or-treaters in our neighborhood!!
I can't stand that everything is slutty for women either. I mean really, come on. How uncreative can you be.
We were allowed to dress up today at work and I didn't even attempt to go to the store to find anything...i knew it was a waste. Instead I went as a really stressed out secretary....frizzy hair, messy blue eyeshadow, multiple pairs of glasses, post-it notes stuck on me that kind of thing. Not too bad for last minute...more creative then slutty secretary.
hilarious. and totally agreed!
My husband is forcing me to pass out candy. I'm going to leave him with the completely freaked out dogs. We'll see if perhaps we get to go back to my plan of all the lights off, going out to dinner and a movie next year.
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