Churches are clever.

I am such a fan of the message boards outside of churches. I think the people who put those messages out there are super clever. I almost always chuckle at them and think they're quite funny. One that I've seen recently says this:

"Let's meet at my house Sunday before the big game"
- God

The message is clear and cute. Perhaps its my line of work that makes me appreciate these, but I really do think that churches really have a good handle on cleverness. God has a good sense of humor. I appreciate that.

The Autumnal Equinox

Happy First Day of Fall!

As far as I'm concerned, this ranks right up there as one of my favorite days of the year.

I hope this Fall season brings everyone much joy and coziness!

Bring on the McMuffins!

I hope everyone is sitting down. I have an announcement. This was just released....

McDonald’s considers selling breakfast all day!!

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14924690/


In related news, I must go change my pants.

A Letter to Lindsay Lohan:

Dear Lindsay,

I write this to you today not as a fan, but as a concerned human being who does not enjoy watching a train wreck. I am tired of you gumming up my beloved Us Weekly with your weekly tragedies. Between the partying, the numerous jaunts to the emergency room, the scathing letters from movie producers and famous Hollywood actors criticizing your poor work ethic, it's time to do yourself a favor and leave this life behind. Now, before you truly hurt yourself. I can see where this is all heading, and it ain't good.

Now I don't blame you for this. Not entirely anyway. I am certain that your mother, Dina, shoved you into this glitzy, glamorous life in a desperate attempt to live vicariously through you. She is perpetuating this downward spiral in the most horrid of motherly fashions. For a woman who calls herself "the white Oprah" she is certainly not allowing you to find your spirit. And I think the real Oprah would have something to say about that. And your dad, with his drug problems and prisons sentences and trying to steal your millions, surely isn't giving you the father figure that you and your siblings deserve. Your parents are money-grubbing dirtbags and for that, my heart goes out to you.

You're young, I get that. You like having a good time and what not, and you most certainly are allowed to make mistakes. But with these mistakes, you are losing whatever talent 10-year-old girls think you have (and some others, but I don't wish to debate this now), and are quickly becoming what every famous person fears, a Hollywood cliche. It's not too late. You are on the brink, but you don't have to jump off the ledge. Please heed my advice.

Save yourself. Skip the cushy, flashy stint in famous person rehab, which only spits you back out into the same destructive society, and go directly to a remote town in Iowa or somewhere and fade off into obscurity.

And ask Tara Reid to go with you.

Signed,
Me

Let the Season Begin!

Last night we had our kick-off bowling season league meeting. That's right, I'm in a bowling league. What??

I thoroughly enjoy bowling. And I won't apologize for it. At first it was just something that my friends and I thought would be fun to do (this is our second year), but now I find myself eating and breathing bowling and getting tres excited for the season to start. I don't think it's possible to have a bad time bowling. It's just a fun, silly game where you wear butt-ugly shoes and drink and laugh with your friends. What's not to like??

Just to show you how hardcore our team is, one of my friends/teammates is 5 1/2 months pregnant and is still bowling! And plans on bowling right up until the end!

We bowl every other Tuesday, which is nice. It gives us time to miss it in between and not get too overwhelmed with the obligation of going every week. Although every time we're there we always say that we wish we did it every week. :)

The season officially starts next Tuesday. Super fun! Wish me luck!

I'm in love!

I just wanted to say it.

September 11

I hesitate to write anything because it is so hard for me to put into words the memories and emotions that I feel surrounding this day.

I feel the same today as I did five years ago. Silent. For me, talking would have indicated that it was possible to think and form words, and it just wasn’t. And I’m finding that it’s still just as difficult.

But I know that, with a tear in my eye, I will always remember.

Why on Earth does someone need this?

Has anyone seen this new Glade plug-in that's a 'light show'? Apparently it changes color while plugged in. What is the benefit of that? An air freshener is supposed to make a room SMELL good, not light it up. Period. End of story.

And you can only see it change color when the lights are off. And if the lights are off that usually means that you are not in the room. Or you are sleeping. In which case, the constant changing of the lights is distracting and annoying.

And the commercial for this product is stupid. And the thing costs $11.99. Whatev.

Oh right, the Reunion.

Well, so last week was The Reunion. I was expecting much worse, but in all honesty, I didn't hate it. There was minimal "so, what are you doing now?" crap. Mainly because I just hung out and talked with my friends who already knew those answers. There were a few faces I did not remember and a couple of people who I didn't think would be there that were, that I was excited to see. All in all, it was a mediocre time. Very anti-climatic.

So, to answer those burning questions I posed last week, that you've all been sitting on the edge of seats waiting for...

• Will anyone lie about their position in life? Um, to my knowledge, and those that I talked to, no one really appeared to lie about what they were doing these days. Rats! I thought I would uncover at least one fink.
• Where will I sit? Well, I sat where I thought I'd sit. At the cool table. With my friends. Discussing (read: gossiping) about who was there. And yes, to my recollection, everyone sat with the same people they would have in the high school cafeteria.
• Would I be nice to everyone? Of course I was. You don't get voted the Coolest by mouthing off and insulting people.
• Are things still funny 10 years later? Um, not so much. As much as people wanted them to be, they just weren't.
• Will people get into a fight? Sadly, no.
• King and Queen? No. Damn it. I was a shoe-in if there was.
• Can I retake my Senior Pictures? I have an appointment next Thursday.

Ultimately I discovered that 10 years does not really change people too much. Personalities are the same. And I didn't notice too many (if any) dramatic makeovers or makeunders. I wasn't surprised by much. Some people are married or engaged, some have kids, some are single. And others are happy, some are trying to be happy and some are just coasting. Oh well. What can you do? We're just a humble, middle American high school, that for one night thought we would reconnect, because it's just something you do. It happened. I lived it. Now I'm moving on.

But I will always have fond memories of high school. Cause I liked it. But I think I'll probably just take them with me and remember them on my own time.

Peace Out RHS.

Good news for Everyone!

Who couldn't use some good news??

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14715843/

I'm so happy, I could spit!

Ugh, foiled again!

I ask you: Is it possible to walk into Target and leave without spending less than $50?? Cause I can't seem to do it.

A simple jaunt to my favorite all-in-one store left me $76.24 poorer. And I just laughed at myself. Those Target people are SMAR-ART, they really know how to appeal to the consumer in me, even when I just need 5 simple items, they some how find a way to keep me in the store for over an hour and convince me to purchase multiple items (I had to trade-in the basket I had for a cart), including a frozen pizza?? Why the hell do I need a frozen pizza from Target?? I dunno, but I got one.

Somebody over there really knows what they are doing. Target is consumer crack. And I LOVE it!

The Reunion Special.

Tomorrow is my 10-year class reunion. ("You're old" jokes are not welcome.) I still can't believe it. Time really moves.

So, it's just got me thinking all kinds of random things...

• What if people totally lie about what they're doing now in order to squash their lame high school reputation?
• Where will I sit? Will there be a complete regression back to the high school cafeteria and will we all sit with the same people we did back then?
• Will I be nice to people I didn't particularly care for? Because it doesn't matter anymore.
• Are the things that were funny in high school still funny 10-years later?
• What if people who didn't like each other back then are there and they get in a fight?
• Do they do King and Queen of the 10-year Reunion? If so, I hope I win! (It will be redemption, won't it S?? Hahaha!!)
• I've never liked my senior pictures. Can I get new ones taken in honor of the 10-year anniversary?

Should be an interesting night. There are all kinds of cliches surrounding these silly things. Who's gained/lost weight? Who's successful? Who's not... blah, blah, blah... I'm not interested in that. I want to know the answers to these questions. I'll be sure to give a full report after Saturday.

Signed,
The Coolest Girl in the Class of 1996

Giving it everything he's got.

Yesss!! He pulled out another one!

In a match that lasted until nearly 1 a.m.

I stayed up and watched the whole thing. I had to.

GO ANDRE!