He's Sexy.

This late afternoon/early evening I will be going to see the new Sex and the City movie! I cannot wait! And I'm going with my husband. Which I think is pretty damn cool. He's a fan. Although perhaps for different reasons than I? I like the wit and the fashion. He likes the wit and the boobs :)

I can't help but wonder... how many other men will be there? And I wonder how many men would like to be there but won't go for fear of getting razzed by their friends and society and whatnots? Hmm...

I love it!

HGTV executives can stop holding their breath, I will NOT be sending them any hate mail.

I don't have any Before pics, but it looked a lot like this, only white.

See Nora Jean in the bottom corner? She looves the new room. Clearly she has good taste as well.

Adding (non) color to our lives.

It's no secret that I have a love for painting. Not artistically (that's laughable), but painting walls in homes. Well, my homes - I probably wouldn't enjoy it as much painting someone else's walls, it would have to be a really interesting color. The immediate gratification drives me. I just love seeing a room transform within hours and for very little cost. Every wall in my previous home was painted. I have almost every color you can think of in there. Except yellow. Huh, that's odd. My bedroom at my parent's house was painted yellow and I haven't used it anywhere since. Is there some underlying issue there? Perhaps. No use in analyzing that now.

Somehow I got my husband to agree to paint a small wall in the kitchen, it can't even really be considered a wall, it's got a sliding glass door and 2 tall windows on it, Beluga. Yep, Beluga. That's black for all of you non-painties.

We did coat #1 yesterday and I think I like it. I'll have a better idea once we get our new white roman shades up and remove the blue tape. It's definitely different. But I think the white will really stand out once it's all said and done. Plus it's a neutral and it goes well with our black and white (and red sink) kitchen.

And if I don't like it, HGTV will be getting a nasty letter from moi. They have an obligation to not televise the shitty ideas, because people will copy them.

Fug you.

Has everyone been formally introduced to the wonderfully hilarious Go Fug Yourself blog? These two girls, who I would love to be friends with, are hysterical. Their schtick is commenting on what famous people are wearing, and just being snarky. I wish I was half as clever. I'm a loyal reader and I think a lot of you would enjoy their humor as well. It's fashion. It's funny. It's fabulous.

Stop the madness!

$4 a gallon for gas makes me gag. I simply cannot believe it's gotten that high. I would like to thank my husband for having the foresight to purchase a home which is, dare I say, almost unfairly close to both of our workplaces. A home that he purchased even before we got way serious. Good looking out MD!

Forever young.

I think the hardest thing for anybody to see is their parents sick and/or getting older. It's truly terrifying to see my parents getting older. I realize it's something that can't be avoided, but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with. One of my biggest fears is that they will suffer when they get old. It's hard to see your parents, who always seemed larger than life, looking weak and feeble.

So my Mom tells me last Thursday that she has to go in to see a doctor because she had had a stress test that came back abnormal. She said some other doctor read the results but they wanted her to go back in to make sure it was being read right. That's what she told me. She didn't make it sound like a big deal, just that perhaps the test was read wrong. I realize now that she was telling me that to keep me from worrying.

As it turns out, she went in Friday morning to get the results read, and they found that she had a blockage in one of her arteries. They had to put a stent in to help the blood flow to her heart, which I've read is a pretty common thing, but nothing is "common" when it comes to your own Mom. Your own Mom who is 54 years old, exercises regularly, weighs 125 pounds and who has decent eating habits who is always laughing and full of life. It's incredibly difficult to see her attached to a ridiculous number of colored wires knowing she has to have a foreign object in her body to help her get blood to her heart. Meanwhile she's watching Pretty Woman and complaining that the hospital cable tv doesn't get TLC. She just wanted to watch "What Not To Wear", dammit!

She was released on Saturday and actually feels better already. But I can't help but think one wrong meal and she could end up back in the hospital, only this time with something more serious. I always wonder, what if this? what if that? I worry, it's what I do. And I do it well.

I'm not at all prepared for this. I don't know how you can be.

Right back where I started from.

I'll tell anyone who will listen just how much I enjoyed Vegas. (So if you don't have 30 minutes, don't ask me about it.) Unfortunately for my Mom, she was forced to listen to me over dinner last night.

I was regaling her with stories from our trip, just going on and on about what we did, what we saw, the excitement, the fun, etc. In between bites of her quesadilla, she stops me and chuckles and says, "I gotta tell you... long pause, more chuckling... you were conceived in Vegas!"

And there you have it.

Turns out my parents thoroughly enjoyed Vegas as well.

May 15, 2008

I just noticed today's date. One month from today will be the day after Flag Day.

It will also be the day that I shall become 30.

Oh no you did'nt!

Our flight home from Vegas was definitely an interesting one. There was a 20-something guy sitting a row behind me in the middle seat. He was a somewhat bigger guy. (He was wearing a shirt that said, "I swear to drunk, I am God." That has nothing to do with anything, but it's stupid and I felt it worth mentioning.) An old man comes to his seat in the aisle next to the bigger guy, he puts his bags in the overhead bin and goes to sit down. Then we hear the comment heard around the world. The old man says to the guy in the middle, "You're in my seat... partially."

I swear to drunk, MD's and my face were as wide as could be. We could not believe what we had just heard.

The bigger guy says to the old man, "What the f--- do you want me to do about it?" This started a war of words. Things got ugly. The bigger guy wouldn't let it go. Comments and insults were flying like monkeys. "You're a dick!" "You're big." "You're a dick!" "You're taking up space on my seat." And so on. The old man called the flight attendant over and told her that he had a problem with this kid and explained that he was giving him crap.

Cut to five minutes later and in walks 5 Airport Administration bigwigs. The head bigwig said that if there was a problem, he would remove both of them from the plane. That shut them both up. And the old man said that as long as the kid "stayed" in his seat, there would be no problem.

I didn't dare look back at them after that, but MD and I thought it would be hilarious if the kid fell asleep on the old man's shoulder.

It was unreal. Have you ever seen/heard such a thing?

As requested.

The back of Shaq's head.

A close-up of the back of Shaq's head.


Quite the photog I am, huh?

I'd never make it as a paparazzo.

I left my heart in Las Vegas.

WOW.

We're back. We're back from what is quite possibly one of my favorite vacations ever. I heart Vegas, like, a lot. Like, a lot, a lot. Obviously it's not a boring city, that's been well documented, and we certainly found ways to keep ourselves busy until 4 in the morning (that's 7 a.m. Toledo time for all you geezers) almost every night we were there.

Everyone told me that spending 4 days there would be enough. I disagree. One more would have been nice. It's impossible to take it all in even over 4 days. Although there are many, these are a few highlights:

• Cirque du Soleil's "O'. OMG! This show is one of those things that I will talk about for a long time. I was absolutely in awe of those people. They were catching each other with their feet. Their FEET! Who does that?

• I quite literally almost ran into Shaquille O'Neal. I was taking pictures of a ceiling and he came around the corner and startled me. MD and I chased him out to the street but could only get pictures of the back of his head. Good Lord is he enormous.

• Playing and WINNING at Blackjack! I didn't think I would care about gambling, until I won. In the end, I won about $150 more than I started with. Small potatoes to some, but to me a victory!

• Being drunk on the streets of Vegas with some really good friends at 3:30 in the morning.

• The crepes at the Paris hotel.

• Eating high on the hog at Sensi at the Bellagio.

• Wearing fur coats and hats and doing shots of vodka in a 0 degree room at the Red Square bar.

• Shopping at Tiffany's for my 30th birthday gift!

• Keeping it real and eating at Denny's 3 times.

• Partying at the Palms with our other friends who just happened to be in Vegas at the same time.

• The Miami Vice drink in the large replica of the Eiffel Tower "glass".

• People watching. You really see all kinds in Vegas. ALL KINDS. I bet it's the most demographically diverse population in all the land. I can't tell you how many fanny packs, super mini skirts, Jimmy Choos, implants, and oxygen tanks we encountered.

• "O"

I just loved it there. I would highly suggest going at least once in your life. It's a FANTASTIC spectacle.

Look out Sin City!

Cause we're a' comin'!

OMG, I am way jazzed right now! We leave bright and early at 6 a.m. tomorrow. (who booked that flight?) Don't worry I'm not going to pull any of that "What Happens in Vegas, Stays in Vegas" BS. (I'm sooo over that campaign). In fact, if anyone in my party says that line, I will punch them in the larynx.

I simply cannot wait. I'm waxed and ready to go!

Something tells me that I am going to come back from this trip a whole different person.

I'm going to scream!

I have NO idea what I've done to my blog. And I can't figure out how to get it back. I'm enraged.

Sorry for the hiccup. You'll have to live with it until I get back from vaca so I can figure it out.

Oh, and from now on, I will go by Mrs. D. Look for me in your comments section. I'll still be the same old M, only with newer, more profound sophistication. I've added a pic too, just to show how sophisticated I am.

Waxing poetic.

I got waxed. I paid $30. It wasn't as far "up" as I thought it would be. I feel the $30 is a reflection of my life - it shows that I'm not out of control ($50) and I'm not perfect ($25). There are definitely some improvements that I can make, but overall I'm right in line with where I should be. I encourage all to get a bikini wax to see how you measure "up" in life.

(If this made sense to anyone besides me, congratulations! your mind works in mysterious ways as well.)

City of sequins.

I've been feeling especially tacky lately. And I have these overwhelming desires to take my bra off and throw it at Wayne Newton.

That must mean one of two things, either we're leaving for Vegas soon, or I need to stop eating spicy foods before bedtime.
........