Having kids is a cinch.

Our niece is coming to stay with us next week. She's 12. We asked MD's sister for a list of food that she likes so we can stock up. Here's what we were told:

BREAKFAST:
strawberry pop tarts!!!!
pancakes (walmart has some already made in the freezer section) They are good!
bagels and cream cheese
blueberry muffins

She knows how to cook and use a stove

LUNCH:
frozen Jack's pizza
pizza bites
deli sliced turkey meat to make sandwiches Walmart- Sun Dried Tomato turkey breast
chips- Cool ranch Doritos, honey BBQ frito, chili chees fritos
hot dogs & Mac-n-cheese
chicken & noodle soup
tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwich

SNACKS:
micro popcorn
oreo
pop sicles
frozen grapes -red

DRINK:
Mt Dew
ice tea
milk skim milk (she says Deans)
chocolate milk made with choc syrup
h2o
kool Aid-Cherry or lemonade

Ah yes, we should get along famously. I'm pretty sure 90% of these things are in our pantry right this very moment. This will be a piece of cake. Of pancake, that is. The frozen kind. From Wal-mart.

Thanks-giving Day.

This past weekend went by without even so much as a mention of my birthday. In fact, my Dad said, "I don't even want to hear about your birthday anymore." Boy. Who says only children are spoiled? My own Dad is over me. Aside from that disappointment, it was still an awesome weekend.

As a thank you to my parents for our lovely and fabulous wedding, MD and I planned a day of fun for them. A day of fun which included lunch at the infamous Pappy's, gambling at Greektown and a Tigers game. All funded by us. They spent a pretty penny on the wedding, the least we could do was buy them a foam finger in the shape of a tiger's claw. We're generous like that.

Not wanting a repeat of last year's debacle, we crossed our fingers that all four tires would be healthy. (I can happily report that everything went swimmingly.) We left super early to avoid the ubiquitous construction and arrived in record time and had lunch. Then we made our way over to the casino where MD and I double handedly brought down Greektown. (They might write a book and make a movie about us.) Not only did we scam them for free parking because we left our car there to avoid paying $20 at the game, but we walked away from the Blackjack table with about $120 in winnings. Suckers! I'm sure they are still feeling the hit from that.

The game was a lot of fun. It was super sunny for a while, but we were prepared for a downpour, so I guess the sun in our eyes was welcome. We got to see a grand slam home run, right before our very eyes! Luckily, it was in the Tigers favor. Tigers were up 5-2. We left at the top of the 7th when we saw that the security guards had changed into full yellow rainsuits. They obviously knew something was coming. We're no dummies, we can take a hint. While listening to the game on the radio in the car, my hatred for Todd Jones continued when he blew their lead in the 8th inning. Ooh, that guy burns me up! The good guys were down 6-5. Until the bottom of the 9th. The team rallied in the bottom of the 9th to pull out a 7-6 victory with a clutch walk-off hit! The radio announcer was yelling so much we all couldn't help but be excited. I'd like to think it was the team's way of saying "F you, Todd Jones! We are going to win this in spite of your shitty pitching." And win they did.

It was a great day. Although, I don't think my parents took full advantage of our generosity. We were prepared to pump them silly with hot dogs and beer. Especially after our big win! But no, they were just happy to spend the day with us. The hot dogs were simply a bonus. They thanked us profusely for everything. Which we, in turn, thanked them. And said the next time they want to spend thousands of dollars on us, we would be more than happy to fund another day of fun. After a stop at Greektown, of course.

Note to the kids: When you are patting yourselves on the back for being up $55 after a day of fun, remember to come to a complete stop at all stop signs, because it's amazing how quickly you can be DOWN. Luckily this was a lesson we didn't have to learn the hard way.

Yes, I did it again. Oops.

Ok, I am officially officially changing my name (again) that will appear in the finest comment sections on Blogger. I will heretofrom be known as Mickey D. No more Mrs. D. Although I still am Mrs. D., I think Mickey D. is super cute and incorporates the one and only nickname I've ever had and my new official latter moniker. Tres cute, right?! It's the name I wished I had thought of 2 years ago when I started this. I hope I don't confuse anyone. That certainly is not my intention. I only intend to make you laugh a little, cry a little and think even less with my witty blogger comments.

I do solemnly swear to keep this name (Mickey D.) from here on out. I'm sure I've already lost some people with my constant blog title changes, blog look changes and blog name changes. I can barely follow me, so it amazes me that some of you can. But thank you for putting up my indecisiveness.

I'm also gonna have a new little photo thingy. It'll look like this...



Get it?

I am 30 + one week.

What's better than having a fabulous birthday party for your 30th birthday?... Having a second fabulous birthday party for your 30th birthday the following weekend!

I got to celebrate being 30 one more time. MD and my parents sneakily collaborated and threw me a surprise birthday party on Saturday. I certainly wasn't expecting another one, but I would never say no to a party! This time, my whole family was there. Both sides of my family. Just like my birthday parties used to be back in the day. It was so great! I definitely cried.

After having been lied to numerous times by numerous people, I walked into the bar to see 30 people dressed in white t-shirts that my Mom had gotten made that said, "Michelle is XXX ... holy crap, she's 30!" Even those without a sense of humor would find the hilarity in seeing my 80+ grandma and great aunt wearing a "holy crap" t-shirt. It really doesn't get much funnier than that.

Thank you to my husband who really is amazing and thoughtful, and one hell of a party planner! (I love that guy.) And thank you to my friends who came to celebrate my birthday yet again. I am still humbled that some of you showed up two weekends in a row. That's awfully fantastic.

I'm pretty sure everyone is over my birthday at this point, but for those who aren't, lemme know how you want to celebrate my birthday next weekend!


Oh, Two Pretzels, I loved the invite you designed! Thank you for having a part in this! And for lying to me as well.

Sometimes I make myself LOL.

When people who need to wear glasses take them off, can they smell things better?

First post in my 30's!

Well, it happened. I turned 30. I am 30. I tell ya, it would have been a lot harder to be 30 had it not been for my wonderful husband and hilarious friends. My birthday celebration was entirely too much fun. The evening started off with our own personal wine/beer tasting at The Vineyard. Then the limo(!) picked us up there and we headed to Poco Piatti for dinner. What a lovely little place that was. With lovely little food and lovely amounts of booze. After that we drove around in the limo and hit some of our favorite hot spots. Dale's, of course. Then Bar Louie. Then Will the limo driver took us home and my husband had to check my pulse. And A. ate all my nachos.

I am so thankful to everyone for making my 30th so memorable. I could not think of a finer way to ring in my 30's than with good friends, good food, good drinks and so many laughs. I love you all.

And thank you to Turtle Parade for being camera-obsessed and taking so many pictures! Some of which I will share and some of which I shall not.

Group shot at Poco Piatti. I love birthdays!


For some reason, we all just happened to have our mouths wide open in this picture? No idea why, but we thought it was funny.

Here I am letting everyone know how old I am.

I would like everyone to know that my dress had pockets which I thought was super cute. I did NOT think it was super cute that the limo driver kept shutting the door on me (on accident) every time I tried to get out of the limo. And I really didn't think it was cute when I told him to stop it but then C. would run around and do it himself because he thought it was hilarious. This happened at least 4 times.

For my gifts I got the beautiful Tiffany necklace that we picked out in Vegas. And in August, MD and I are going to see my new best friend, Chelsea Handler, in Michigan. Nora was also kind enough to get me Chelsea's two books. I've already finished them both. I think that broad is hilarious! I cannot wait to hear her stand-up.

Yay! Happy Birthday to me!

This is the last post I will ever write in my 20's.

(I don't see nothing wrong with a little overdramatics.)

I wanted to be the first to wish you and yours the happiest of Flag Days. It's not until Saturday, but I believe it's never too early to extend kind wishes upon friends. That's just the way I live my life.

I will be sure to post the wild goings-on from my 30th birthday hoopla taking place this weekend. Tune in next week if you think you can handle it.

Bon voyage 20's! I've enjoyed you. You've been ripe with love, grief, surprises, unpleasantries and countless bottles of wine. I shall miss you, but will look upon you with favor.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Cleaningwoman.

The following two post-it notes were on my desk when I came into work this morning...




In case you can't read them, this very nice woman Alicia was vacuuming the office last night and unfortunately had some issues with a pair of socks that I had on my floor. One sock in particular was giving her troubles and she wanted to let me know she was sorry that it kept getting caught in the vacuum cleaner. She also wanted to introduce herself and wanted to let me know just which sock had the unfortunate luck of being sucked into the vacuum cleaner.

I found it very humorous, very odd, yet very kind.

I apologize to you, Alicia. I shouldn't have left my footwear on the floor. I'm ashamed. Thank you for keeping my office floor clean and honest.

This is it.

This is the last week I will be in my 20's. The phenomenon that was my twenties will be no more.

All I keep thinking is, HOLY CRAP! In fact, on my work calendar, I wrote "Holy crap, my 30th birthday" on June 15. You know, in case I forget. It's just so weird.

I have to share my day with my cousin who has the same birthday (when he's thirty 11 years from now, it can be his day, but for now, it's mine), Fathers everywhere, the aftermath of wild Flag Day celebrations, and my other cousin's graduation party. Boo. And here I was thinking that the world cared that it's my birthday. Nope, it's just going about its business like I'm not even gonna be 30. Whatever, cruel world. What.Ev.

I feel like I need one last hurrah. One last testament that being in your twenties is carefree. Hmm... well, we are contemplating going to a MudHens game tomorrow... I'm envisioning hot dogs, lots of beer, clothing removal, running, turf between my toes, and an arrest. That would really cap off this crazy ride.

My List. 74-50.

74. New Year's Eve 1999 and the eye patch I thought I would have to wear to ring in the new Millenium.
73. Vegas.
72. Walking into my first house and knowing that I bought it all by myself.
71. My first day of my first job out of college at The Toledo Zoo.
70. Hawaii, on the last night of our honeymoon.
69. Ice skating with my whole family on the river behind my Grandparent's house.
68. Ho-ho cake.
67. Finally passing my driver's test after 3 tries.
66. The first time I got drunk. On screwdrivers. In a trailer.
65. MD reciting his vows to me.
64. Opening my birthday card on my 12th birthday and having 2 New Kids on the Block tickets fall out.
63. Sarah and I getting our braces on the same day, sitting side-by-side.
62. Playing 31 at the holidays.
61. Proudly wearing my turquoise Converse, thinking I was hot stuff.
60. Bagel and Deli. Banana surprise.
59. Going through the entire dark room process of developing film in photography class.
58. My Dad laughing hysterically at the scene in the Money Pit where Tom Hanks falls out the window and gets covered in paint.
57. My tulip garden.
56. Writing for the college newspaper and seeing my name in print.
55. Piano recitals.
54. Chamonix, France.
53. Walking into Kroger on June 15, 1999 and buying my first 6-pack of Bud Ice.
52. Feeding bananas to the giraffes and mints to the rhinos because I made friends with the zookeepers.
51. The way his sister screamed when we told her we were engaged.
50. My proudest moment in college... the time my professor handed my paper back to me and said, "Judging by what you wrote, I can't tell whether you read the assignment or not. And since I can't tell, I had to give you an A. Good job!" I had successfully BS'ed the paper to the point where I was actually making sense.

No Title.

What's more annoying?...

• People who run outside when it's -5 degrees.
• People who run outside when it's 95 degrees.
• People who run.

My List. 100-75.

Here is my list of things that I hope flash before my eyes when the day comes. In no particular order, of course:

100. Playing "Fashion Girls" with my cousins.
99. Hearing my Great Aunt Stella call me "doll".
98. The day we got our first cat, Fluffy.
97. Beating all the boys in the 100-yard dash in elementary school.
96. My Grandma's chicken paprikas.
95. Hearing my Mom laugh hard at something my Dad said.
94. Stealing a lot of make-up from the IGA with my cousin Lexi and not getting caught until weeks later.
93. Sleeping on the floor in my Grandparent's Daytona Beach condo with my family because there weren't nearly enough beds for all of us.
92. Seeing my Dad cry on my last day of high school.
91. Standing in front of the Eiffel Tower. Then going to the very top.
90. Sledding at Fort Meigs on a snow day.
89. My Grandpa yelling "Good catch, Stretch" at all my softball games.
88. The Pemberville Fair and parade.
87. Driving my '89 Honda for the first time.
86. Being the first (along with Sarah) to run through the hoop at our last volleyball game.
85. The numerous shopping trips with my Mom to Cleveland and Columbus.
84. Going to Tiger Stadium for the last time.
83. Dancing on the bar in Daytona on Spring Break in college.
82. My first surprise birthday party for my 22nd birthday.
81. Seeing MD walk through the door at Dale's the first time we met, wearing his light blue shirt.
80. Every year waiting anxiously for my elementary school to post the list on the doors of who was going to be in what class. And my Dad still telling me when they're up now.
79. Never being able to sleep on Christmas Eve.
78. Decorating the Christmas tree while my Mom played her Perry Como records.
77. All the cards I got when I had Mono for 4 weeks in high school.
76. Hanging out with my friends in my driveway until the wee hours the night before I left for college.
75. Giving my Maid of Honor speech at Sarah's wedding.

I enjoyed this. To whomever started this, thanks for allowing me to steal the idea.